No Excuses...

 When you're waiting on the words to just start flowing out of you...

(filmdaily.co)

   

        Well, here I am almost exactly three years to the day, that I wrote the first post for this new blog. And I seriously, only have two entries to show for it...well, three after this, I guess. I don't know what's more embarrassing, that I didn't follow through with this blog, or that I didn't follow through with my resolutions to a healthier body and mind? I'm not sure what route this blog will take from here, but I've realized (again) that I'm at a point in my life where I need to make some serious changes - and this is the start of that new journey. With lots of hope and determination, I'm anticipating when I look back on this post three years from now, that I can say I did in fact follow through with both goals of maintaining an interesting blog and transforming my mind and body. 

        I know this entry is titled: No Excuses..., but I'd be remiss if I didn't give a little background information before continuing on. As I am sure everyone in the world is aware,  we just finished one of the most trying years of our lives! 2020 was a year no one expected; the entire world basically shut down at one point or another! Humans everywhere have come together in this amazing moment, where we've all been grieving the same thing. The Dalai Lama says, "We are the same human being - mentally, emotionally, physically same. And more important, everybody has a sense of self experience of pleasure, pain, suffering, happiness." And sadly, so many people in our world lost loved ones during the Global Covid19 Pandemic. (Hell, we are still in the midst of it right now. Vaccines are only just currently being released in the US, to the older generation.) And, like so many others, I found myself jobless and in full on quarantine in March of 2020. Which means, I've had a lot of time this past year, to sit around and gain extra weight. 

        When I started this blog, I was likely at about 220 pounds or so. Currently, I am at the heaviest weight I've ever been: 251.5 pounds. I've found myself uncomfortable, just when sitting around relaxing, because either my hip is sore, or my knee is sore, or my back is sore. In my career, I've worked in jobs where I'm constantly standing and moving around, while also taste testing and snacking during the day. Because of these things, I've generally been able to maintain my weight in the past (even though weighing 220 lbs isn't exactly the best weight to maintain - but, that's neither here nor there right now.). When I went into quarantine and started sitting around a lot more, I started snacking more, and started to gain more weight. Around the spring and summer, I was able to maintain the weight because of daily walks in the local metro parks or on the path behind our neighborhood. But once late fall and winter rolled around with the inevitable chilling weather, I stopped walking and started gaining, yet again. And this leads us to, basically where I am now...

        Over the last six months or so, I've realized that I will never fully love myself (whether fat or skinny), if I don't work on my mental health first. I am trying to do this by reading more, journal writing more, meditating, praying, and picking up new hobbies like learning the Indonesian language and giving my bathroom a mini home-makeover! 

        I resolved to read at least 12 books during 2021 (that's one book per month- should be pretty easy). But, I should mention, my track record for reading books completely through, is pretty bad. Which is crazy considering my undergrad major (which I'll allow you to just guess on your own). Regardless, the first book that I finished in January was The Book of Joy by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams. This book spoke to my soul - it was the first book that has really allowed me to explore my deepest inner being and thoughts (as much as I hate looking deeply inward at times). It felt like the perfect place to start for my journey in bettering my mental health! 

        Along with reading, I have also been working through an anxiety calming journal, every so often. It has allowed me to recognize all of the things I am grateful for in life, while also reminding me to breath during times of anxiety or stress. 

        Further in my search for a healthier mind, I have begun practicing Indonesian in the Duolingo App. I have always loved traveling and experiencing new cultures; and I plan to take a trip to Bali with the hubs when traveling is safe again - hence the new hobby of studying the Indonesian language. 

        And finally, I have been working on "remodeling" my Master Bathroom for a few months now. It's been a slow process, but it is finally coming along, and I can see my vision of a beautiful, serene spa-like bathroom, in my near future. I just ordered a tile wet saw, for one of my final touches for the bathroom... and let's just say, I'm super excited to get things moving! 😄 Cultivating these new hobbies, has allowed me to continue to grow as a person, even during the strangest of circumstances this past year has created. 

        The last thing I want to discuss in this particular blog, is my attempt to better my body, physically- for better overall health. I don't want to make the focus of this journey necessarily geared around losing weight...but to be frank, I need to, in order to better my health and my joints (my poor achy joints). The only time that I've ever really noticed much progress in this area, was when I simultaneously recorded what I ate in the Lose It App, walked almost daily, and planned out my meals more strategically. This is what I need to get back in the habit of doing. This past weekend, I worked on planning out the meals for this week, along with new healthy dinner ideas. Today I began recording my food intake on the Lose It App again. I can see this new healthy journey beginning to open up to me! I just need to figure out the exercise bit...(Ooof!).

        I'm hoping that all these new practices, are a genuine step in the right direction, that allows me to create life long healthy habits this time. Say a little prayer for me, or wish me luck on this new healthy life journey - I think I'm gonna need it. 

Here's to new beginnings...again!

-L.